Tell Your Story, Ask for Theirs: Crafting a Profile that Connects

The Profile Problem: From Resume to Real Connection

Have you ever found yourself staring at your dating profile, feeling like you're drafting a resume rather than showing who you truly are? Maybe you've listed your job, hobbies, or tossed in adjectives like "adventurous" or "loyal," hoping they'll do the trick. Yet, when you look at your profile, it just feels...lifeless. Like it's missing something important.

And when you're swiping, you've seen it too, right? Profiles blending together in a blur of clichés—lists of hobbies without heart, preferences without personality. This "profile fatigue" is real; it's that creeping boredom or even frustration after scrolling through endless similar profiles.

But here's the good news: you can stand out. Your profile can spark genuine curiosity and meaningful conversations. How? Start thinking of your profile as the opening line of a great conversation. That means sharing your story—and genuinely inviting theirs.

A Note from Your Coach: Feeling awkward or stuck writing your profile is totally normal. It's challenging to distill your rich, complex life into a few short lines! Instead of trying to impress, let's shift toward creating a space where connections can naturally flourish.

Part 1: Weaving Your Narrative - Beyond Just The Facts

Here's a powerful truth: stories stick, facts fade. So rather than listing what you like or do, share mini-stories that reveal your "why" and your "how." Your profile isn't just information—it's an invitation into your world.

Turn Facts into Engaging Mini-Stories:

• Instead of: "I like hiking."

  • Try: "There's nothing quite like reaching the summit after a tough hike—especially if waterfalls or snacks are involved. What's your favorite outdoor adventure?"
  • (Why it resonates: Adds vivid details and humor, shows your adventurous spirit, and invites a conversation.)

• Instead of: "I work in marketing."

  • Try: "I spend my days fascinated by what makes people tick (marketing nerd here!), and my evenings trying to master sourdough baking or diving into sci-fi adventures."
  • (Why it resonates: Shares your enthusiasm for your work balanced by relatable, humanizing hobbies.)

• Instead of: "Looking for someone with a good sense of humor."

  • Try: "I'd love to meet someone who enjoys my terrible puns and isn't afraid to laugh at themselves—bonus points if you're an Office fan!"
  • (Why it resonates: Shows your personality, creates connection points, and sets a playful tone.)

Finding Your Personal Stories:

• Reflect on the "why": What draws you to your hobbies or passions?
• Use sensory details: Think sights, sounds, feelings, tastes—bring your experiences to life.
• Show, don't tell: Briefly describe an adventure instead of labeling yourself as adventurous.
• Stay concise: Aim for brief, impactful snippets.

Why Stories Work: Our brains are wired to remember stories, not lists. Sharing your experiences helps others feel a deeper, more authentic connection with you.

Part 2: The Game Changer - Showing Curiosity About Them

Sharing your story matters—but equally important is showing genuine curiosity about others. In fact, compelling research from UC Berkeley discovered that profiles highlighting curiosity about potential matches are significantly more appealing than self-promotion alone. Why? Because deep down, everyone longs to be understood.

When you weave curiosity into your profile, you're saying:

1. "I see you"—showing genuine interest signals empathy.
2. You're creating conversation starters—making it easier for matches to reach out.
3. You're demonstrating openness and empathy—attractive qualities in any partner.
4. You naturally filter for more meaningful conversations—those who respond thoughtfully tend to value deeper connection.

How to Express Curiosity in Your Profile:

• Bio endings: "Always hunting for a great meal—what's your favorite recent dining discovery?" or "I'm learning Spanish—got any tips to make it stick?"

• Highlight what you love learning: "Passionate about discovering what lights others up—what are you deeply passionate about?"

• Photo captions:

  • "Throwback to an epic hike—where's your favorite spot to explore?"
  • "Me trying (and spectacularly failing at) pottery. What's something new you've attempted lately?"

• App prompt responses:

  • "I'm looking for…" "Someone curious and kind who loves sharing their passions. What's something you're excited about lately?"
  • "We'll get along if…" "You believe pineapple belongs on pizza—or can lovingly debate against it! What's your favorite unexpected food combo?"
  • "A random fact I love…" "Otters hold hands while sleeping! What's a fun fact you've recently discovered?"

The Power of Curiosity: By genuinely expressing interest, you're tapping into the powerful human desire to be understood. This makes your profile feel welcoming and real.

Putting It All Together: Profile Snippets That Connect

Here are integrated examples of narrative and curiosity in action:

• Bio example: "Fan of dad jokes, coffee-shop exploring, and re-reading fantasy novels way too many times. Tell me about a book that's stayed with you." (Narrative: playful, curious, relatable interests. Curiosity: invites meaningful response.)

• Prompt response ("My simple pleasures..."): "Morning tea, discovering new songs, and the rush after finishing a tough project. What simple joys brighten your day?" (Narrative: relatable, everyday joys. Curiosity: invites personal sharing.)

Stay Authentic

Above all, authenticity matters. Share stories and ask questions that feel true to you. This genuine approach builds real connections.

Conclusion: Invite Connection, Don't Just Describe Yourself

Your profile isn't a static resume—it's an invitation to meaningful interactions. By sharing your authentic story and thoughtfully inviting theirs, you open the door to connections that feel real and refreshing.

Takeaway: Your stories matter, and your curiosity can spark meaningful conversations. Show up bravely, authentically, and openly—and watch the connections grow.